I agree with what was said earlier, I wouldn't start mentioning the D word to her. I am sure you have already told her that you don't want a D, so she knows that. No need to bring that up again. I also agree with others on your incredible PMA!! Keep it up!
So you're a fixer huh? Just like me! I wouldn't worry about expressing your "fixer" opinions, it's forcing them on her that's ticking her off. It's ok to mention your opinion once and then leave it at that. She has heard you and will remember what you said. You might be suprised to hear her say something later like: "You know, I thought about this and I decided that maybe I need to do this." and it will be what you had told her she should do. It has happened to me. Try to refrain at that point from claiming an easy score by saying: "I told you so!" (I have to really hold that back!!). That's below the belt.... By giving her your opinion on something without pushing your view, she can feel safe to come to you for advice and that's how it should be!
I have pushed my opinions for years I am sure, thinking I knew best, but the only thing that does is tell her that her opinion doesn't matter. I believe that's one of the reasons I am where I am now. I know my W is much more open to my opinions now, because I don't push it, just state it and then let her think about it. Usually, she will bring it back up a couple of days later after some thought. My W will also ask me for my opinion now, whereas right after the "bomb", she wouldn't because "I would just lecture her like I am her father". Last thing about this: don't say things like "You need to .....", instead say: "Maybe you could try to....". I am sooo guilty of doing that in the past!!
Just some stuff from my perspective, maybe it can help you channel your "fixer" personality in a more conducive way to your W. I believe I have been able to make progress in that regard in my sitch.
I will try and check in on you a little more often!
