Meditation on Mediation

[LucasE]

I just found this and feel that it might apply to me in my future:

"...Okay, maybe I am too tough here, I don't know, but it sounds like excuses to talk and see each other. If you are going to get divorced......then you have to start acting like you are divorced. There will be alternatives to what you are using as "excuses" now. You just have to realize that she is not a part of your life. The kids will be the only connection, but don't use them as a reason to contact her unless it is an emergency.

If she ever "misses you" it will be b/c you are out of her life and she doesn't see you or hear from you all the time. She needs to miss you! Being D will be as good of an excuse as any I know! Don't feel sorry for her b/c of where she lives. She made these choices. She left you to choose this. You say you don't want the kids to have to stay there.......I wonder if that is just another excuse. Maybe not. I know I hated it when I was accused of making "excuses", but often times we don't see it in our own stitch. You can give the kids what they need as far as clothes, food, etc. You don't have to buy her a nice place to live in order for the kids to be able to stay with her in a nice place. Those are the consequences she has to endure. I know it hurts b/c of the kids........but she needs to "feel" this. She needs to realize that she has done this to the kids and you are not going to rescue her from it.

Drop the rope. She needs to be shocked!

S..."

I would really have to act as if, to ever pull this off.