I am so sorry for your loss. It seems these things happen when we are also going through such trauma with the Ml'er.
The healing is slow, please don't try to rush it.
Thinking of you....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11