OK...I totally agree with your doctor post on page 1. Funny thing is 25, I think my problem was JUST the opposite. My problem is that I wanted to be home with my family. I DIDN'T want to get called in at night. My son and daughter would cry (and still do complain) when I get paged.
I chose my family over my practice. Although THIS is not the DIRECT reason why I had volume issues, it was certainly a contributor. I loved my W and I loved my kids. If I could dodge a case or a call to the ER, I would....so that I could finish building the gym set in the backyard or not miss a day trip out east to the Hamptons.
It was when my W had to work in my office that I made the BIGGEST error. I treated her like an office manager rather than my wife working in my office. When the stress became apparent, I would say to myself "I have to get her out of here". But, she would 'normalize' for a bit...and...I didn't. She would see some of my occupational hazards...like...getting angry with a nurse over the phone over what I perceived as a 'stupid' phone call. It was more like my job destroyed attraction more that it was the 'wife of the doctor' thing.
There will always be a tightrope with my job...a balance between home and being called to help the sick. Unless I do what my W once said to me (why don't you become a football coach), I will be tied to getting called out in the middle of the night.
Some of the 'doctor facts' that are out there include: -doctors have one of the highest divorce rates -doctors make terrible parents because of lack of focus on the kids vs their patients -doctors have one of the highest crash rates with regards to flying private planes: because of feelings of 'omnipotence', they will takeoff under adverse weather conditions that most flyers would not. They also buy bigger and more powerful planes (one in particular called a Bonanza) that brings on a crash.
No doubt there was SOME control issues but, more than being a doctor or a surgeon, I think these were my OWN 'poor programming' issues from the type of family that I grew up in.
Finally, I think that...the combination of diminishing reimbursements and my STBXW's inability to have those tangible things...and that she might have to work....killed it for her. Expressions of doubt and weakness helped kill attraction as well. She blamed me for everything.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
