HI Grace and BM...thanks craig and 2nd chance. I started out here with the DB coaches. I had DB Chuck and, in the beginning, he had great advice and helped to keep me on track. I said goodbye to Chuck and had a mutually emotionally goodbye after I 'saved' my marriage in Dec. '06. I highly recommend them for newcomers here.
However, in the death throes of my marriage, I am going back to square one...working on me. At times, I look back on my marriage and, although a loving and dedicated H and father, I am disappointed at many of the things that I did or said to destroy the attraction. Although I believe that...if I was making a million bucks a year, my STBXW would have feigned happiness and still ended up in the backseat of cars with 26 year olds....I intend to never go back to that person.
The old FIB is dead and buried.
The man I spoke with is a 'man coach'. He is pro marriage. He is pro woman. His book is about great relationships and marriages. He is about keeping attraction alive in an M/R. He is about leadership and authority but not about chauvinism and sexism. His book is mainly directed at men yet many women buy the book and give to their H's. I sent one or two newsletters to my sis and she thought she sensed some 'anger' in there, but, I don't. Like everything, you must use the stuff that applies to you and discard what doesn't.
I am back to reading this stuff...to hammer in the last nail. He has a newsletter that comes out daily and I highly recommend it to everyone. It could even help women...to see what men are telling men to keep things interesting and hot.
Some friends, who are standers, refuse to read his stuff because they believe that he is anti-marriage and everything is on the woman. Not true.
Anyone who tries to tell you, eg, to plan a secret getaway, pack HER bags for her...to know her clothing size.....to shop for her...to listen...yada yada....is not anti-M etc. But it is more than that.
I like his stuff. It's too late for me...for my M. I wish I had known this stuff sooner. Water under the bridge. I know it now.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
