H, People see the changes that are taking place in our spouses long before we do. We lived with them day in and day out and changes were very subtle to us until one day they announce they are done w/us and the marriage. People still come up to me and talk about the strange behavior of my xh prior to him walking out the door. When you are out of the middle of the drama, sit down and look back over the years prior to him walking....you'll start to put the pieces of the puzzle then of the changes. You can't do this while in the middle of the emotional rollercoaster.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
