Divorced, but 'still hopeful' to reconcile.

[still hopeful]

Made good on my opportunity to keep my mouth shut. XW told me she didn't want to hear what I had to say about an issue because she already knew. I chose to politely tell her what I needed to say and she told me that she knew that that was what I was going to say. I know she did absolutely did not know that I was going to say because I know her and I absolutely DO know what she thought I was going to say.

The good news is that what I did actually say needed to be said and it was neither accusing nor blaming. Either way, I told her thank you for listening even though she already knew (NOT!) because her willingness to listen allowed us to clear up a misconception (NOT! But that's OK.) She did hear what I needed to tell her and what she needed to hear , regardless, and it was all accomplished without anger and upset. Victory for me. Victory for us.

She gets to see that I am in control of myself, in command of my perceptions, and assertive in leading her in our communication without being controlling. Plus, she saw that her perception of the 'old' me does not apply to me today. Another opportunity for her to experience the new me; for me to debunk another of her misconceptions about me...and all done under the radar. NO detection. Nice.

Letting Go Tom