At some point you checked out of the marriage (mentally & emotionally), most people check out 2-3 years right before they have an A (right about 7 huh?)
His drinking, is his issue & if you would for a moment stop thinking everything was about you "A great way to convince your wife that you love her, don't you think?" you would have saw he had demons that, when he is ready he will need your support to deal with that issue (So by what you are saying is the only reason he drank was because you & your newborn child? Not the stress at work or a significant life change, people do things like this not because of one thing it's usually a number of things)
You know my wife said some mean things to me, as I did the same to her & some of those things hurt me to the core, but you need to love yourself first (I had to learn this the hard way) We did this before & after the PA's & you know what I know deep down in her heart she still loves me (I guess you were able to keep your thoughts to yourself)
May I remind you, you took a oath "in sickness & heath till death do you part" any of that sound familiar? I mean you did that, you agreed to those terms as did he & when you were beggin & cleaning puke he was in that whole "sickness" part, but because you got tired because you cleaned up puke for the 232,419 time, that's it you have had enough right, how do you know if you would have cleaned it 232,420 time he would have change you don't neither do I
But that's what we do with love, we make it conditional, if you do these things too many times I gone!! That's the worse love, you did it, he did it, I did & so has my wife, we all have, guess what that isn't love, not real love, don't believe me?? If you child murdered another human being would you stop loving then? NO! But why do you get to turn off that love for your husband? Oh that's different, he's not my child! Oh just the man who helped you make then child that's all, that's the one thing that I can never do no matter what happens I will always love my wife she is the mother of my children!
My wife's family, it seems everyone who has died, has died of cancer, & you know what if that road comes upon us guess where I'll be by her bedside!! (Yes I can say that because when someone rips your heart out as we did to each other & the growth I was forced to endure, you realize that one's character is all that counts) I rather be the fool who sat at my cheating wife's bedside then to be the husband who wasn't there when she needed me the most, & that's what I did & will not ever do it again to her, or my next wife if I am so lucky for someone to want to be with me in that capacity ever again!
But wait there is a whole bunch of well adjusted people just willing to marry us because we are such great people
Hey in those affairs did you find something normal?? No because we are all dealing with issues EVERYONE IS!!!
You need to wear your ring, that's it that's the bottom line with that because when he comes back (and he will) he will most likey say "it's because you never stopped wearing my ring" it's the little things we cling on to in situations like this
WAW 32 ME 38 D11, S9 & D2 Together 10/96 Married 4/2000 Bomb 4/2006 PA1 9/2006 PA2 11/2006 I now know I want out, With my Kids!!!
