He has the tools.. he is just using them at the wrong time.
"And you cant teach him"
Amen.
"Yes, he should pay for the coat. It is about time he found a way to give you a gift that you like. He should let you pick things out all the time."
Be careful with this.
"I see a lot of "shoulds" from you and also from some of the well meaning folks here - this translates to "expectations" which translates to "not detaching" and you sometimes call it "not settling". I think in piecing and for the rest of your married life you will need to detach."
Wow.. just Wow. Wow.
"The more I "grow", the smaller he looks to me."
Hmmm.. is your shadow.. getting to big?
"I dont want to spend the rest of my life being completely detached from the man beside me."
Define "detached".
"Your anger, which sometimes causes my anger, is a very big setback factor to what we are trying to do."
There it is again.
It was in response to this..
"I feel very angry and hurt. Very hurt."
"Whatever progress we make, a moment of your anger, a misunderstanding, sets everything back."
Again.. he sees something. He is reacting to it. It is not bad.. just does not help things.
"I am very hesitant and on guard."
"Fear" breeds "Fear".. Ian is gonna hate me.. but.. "Fear" here is good. Without a doubt.
Let me say this real clear.. neither of you knew what you were getting your selves into.. here.
"That is why I am "stagnant"."
LOL. Told ya. Can it be any more clear? What is he waiting on?
"They told us at MC that "we are not ready yet" and I have kept this on my mind."
I am sure I pointed that out.. I likely said.. smart C. And then referenced you paid for that.
So.. we all agree.. ready.. but not willing and able?
"I am afraid that they maybe right and the timing is not good and as a result this effort will go wasted."
Sound familiar.. why should I do "X"?
"He called and we talked. Among others:
he feels something is missing too
he is stuck and upset too
thinks about this every minute of the day
not happy with how things evolve=are stagnant"
So... what you are saying is.. you both have the timing right.. just a F'd up set of circumstances?
I would agree.
Maria... Stop.. please just stop.. look at what is going on. You walked right into the cycle. He did to. That says a lot to me. You both went to "crapville" at the same time.
#1.. GAL.. Take a break. Disregard he said he wanted back. Give it 2 weeks. Make plans.. meet the girls. Just stop. Be Coy.
#2.. Focus on the kids.. after your GAL.. and stopping. Don't tell me how bad they are.. just "live" a little with them.
#3.. Stop.
Big stop sign with flashing light!
You have your heart in the right place.. but if you keep on like you are.. he is gonna agree to D.
Focus.. and Do Work. Remember the meaning.. and take that to heart.
That is the key. I bet my name.. and my guru'ness on it.
You have done it before.. I have no doubt.. you can do it again.
Yes.. I see all the "Work".. in this.
If I am routing for you.. more than you are.. something is wrong in the universe!!
I am the pusher upper. You should be "Shining".
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
