The unfaithful wife...that's me..

[K4D]

Hi Alex,

I understand what you are saying and I agree it take time. And I am not recommending she divorce him and she isn't either. She is just asking him to make some decisions. I don't think its good for him to continue drinking, watching porn and being with OW while trying to fix things. I think those things need to be fixed first. But I also don't think she should let him draw her in to arguements. That is just him trying to control the situation in an unhealthy manner.

I think she should just stay dark and not respond now. I think he will think more clearly once he eliminates the drinking, porn, and OW. But how can he think clearly while in that situation? It might take 10 years. I don't know.

In my case, I can't get remarried do to my beliefs about what the bible says, so if it takes my W 10 years, I'll have to wait. And that is very hard to accept. But I don't have a choice.

I do think with what she has told him though that he has something to think about. She hasn't told him to get over the A. She has simply told him to shape up his life. He may never get over the A and thats probably normal. But how he goes about handling it is unhealthy right now. There are other ways of dealing with the pain of it than his current process.

I'm not judging the guy, I'm just saying he needs to do some things to get a clear mind first. Once he does that there are healthier ways to get over it and repair feelings and the marriage.

For what its worth,

Kevin