Ok So I guess today I am going to be taking the next "card" out of this shaky house of cards...
After W Aunts party I am going to tell Wife that I am planning on informing Oldest D about our pending separation. Seems to be getting closer now. NOBODY knows we are having problems. At least it has not been talked about. This will be the first time that at least I am admitting out loud that there is a problem.
I am not going to mention the affair. I am just going to tell her that Mom and I are having problems, We tried to work them out this past year but I have just come to the conclusion that mom just does not want to be married anymore. If Daughter asks for more information I will just tell her she needs to ask you Mom I can't speak for her....(D is 25yo)
On the brite side......
Son and I are planning on going to the movies.. something called "the dog hotel?" and we may do some more fishing this weekend..
Ok My B-Day in next month. Last year I went to las Vegas (by myself) and had an ok time but I vowed NEVER to spend my B-day alone agian. Opened my cards from across the pond and got one phone call from a fellow. (can you call a female a Fellow?) DBer wife did not call.
So now I am trying to think of something to do this year. Any sugjestions??
Dr Love
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Well... Do you have any friends you could go out with? If not, what about going out with your son? You guys could go to dinner and then to a movie? If I was closer, I'd take you out!
Definately don't spend it alone. The other thing you could do is if you have a friend that lives out of state, maybe you could meet them half way and go out? Just a thought.
How has she been with you otherwise?
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Glad to hear from you but sorry you are back if you know what I mean.
Just to let ya all know I am ok. I had some issues last night but feel beter today. I will try to fill ya in later. Think I may be growing up. A while back half joking half for real I would turn to drinking to forget about my troubles.. Did not cross my mind last night. Well I was going to do a shot of JD before bed but I forgot about it and went to bed anyway..
Dr. Love (used to ge Husband but I got tired if hearing about all the problems ladys here were having with their husbands)
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Ok I am tired and do not feel much like typing so here is an e-mail I sent out...
So are you all ready for this?
Son and I went to the movies and hung around town for awhile then came home. After a short time son went down the street of his buddy’s house. I am so glad I Waited and used the 24 hour rule. I was so pissed last night. Anyway I went onto wife’s "office” and asked her point blank. "Did you go Through my night stand?" she said "NO I did not go through your nightstand, I Have no reason to. The only thing I go into is your drawers when I put you’re Washing away. I asked “are you being honest with me?" she said "yes". (something was missing for those of you that don't know) So I let it go. I half believe her but it does not really mater anymore. But I am going to tear it apart tonight.. So the next thing I asked her was " Why are you still sleeping is son's room? She said she has already talked to him about it and needs to straighten things up in her office and get a pad for the bed in there. So then I told her that MY room is MY space. She said she knows. I asked her When she thinks she can get her stuff out. She said she does not want to move The things in the closet; there is no place to put it. AND she does not want to Move her dresser. I told her she can leave the stuff in the closet I do not need That but I want you to move your dresser when you have things straighten out in Her office. She said she prefers to use the shower in my room. (It is a nice Shower, we remolded a few years back. I did not answer..(I am choosing my Battles right now) I then asked her one more time "Is this you want?" I do not want to get divorced But I want to be married, you don't want to be married" she said " I am sorry But I have no intimate feelings for you I have not had feelings for you the last the last 10 Years" I told her I respect her feelings (or lack of them) I can not make her do Anything. I do not want to make her do anything. I asked if she wanted to try Some MC. She said it would make no difference she has no feelings for me. I told Her OK. But if she wants to try something the ball is now in her court. I told Her I am going to tell our D's this week. (They are mine from a previous Marriage but she did adopt them) I told her I am not going to tell my mom yet. I Told her that next weekend when she is camping with her best friend and her Cousin it will be a good time to tell them. She said ok. She also told me to let Her know when I tell my mom so she can tell her mom. We both agreed that nothing can really happen until she gets a job. I told her I Know and then when she does get a job we need to bring down the debt. I told her I am not sure what we are going to do with the dog but we will decide when the Time comes. (The dog was bought for son but it became my dog) she told me where ever she ends up She wants to take the dog because that is son's dog. (Again assuming she is Going to have son but like I said I want to choose my battles right now.) But it was a real nice conversation. I did not get emotional. I did not get Angry or hurt. Wife cried though most of it... There was more said but I am lousy at repeating stuff. But you got the jest of It..
Years ago when I lost my leg I came to the reality that no matter how much I worried about it. No matter how angry or sad I got it was not going to grow back. I had to learn to accept the things I can't change. I slip now and then but this is one I will be dealing with now. Strange but I am ok with it.
Dr LOve
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
