I've not been posting here very much recently, but I've just read your last few posts.
"Her job I'm afraid is not a positive thing after all, she has said she's about to start her "prison term" again. It's taking her away from doing whatever she pleases all day long.... Rats!"
This tells me two things:
(1) Your wife has a rather "entitled" attitude to life. She seems to think its your job to financially support her so she doesn't have to go out to work - ever. And she regards any paid work as a "prison term". Your wife obviously feels its everyone else's task to make her life interesting and fulfilling. But life simply doesn't work that way - hence her "I'm sorry you find me boring" remark - that remark was both a recognition that she is boring, but also I suspect an expectation that you should feel sorry for her.
(2) Your whole approach towards whether an interaction in your marriage is positive or negative seems to come down to whether or not it is likely to lead to her having sex with you: "Her job I'm afraid is not a positive thing after all...Rats!" Can you see how screwy your marriage has become? On my reading of the situation it can only be a good thing she's got a job after all these years - irrespective of her "mood", irrespective of sex - I really do not think you see Cinco (because you're right in it) how unhealthy this dynamic is. It is classic Nice Guy stuff.
Another thing I wanted to point out was that your "love letter" ended with a postscript telling her what her emotional reaction should be - you even told her the words you wanted to hear! Does that really sound healthy to you?
I can well understand you feeling frustrated and on the verge of quitting this marriage, and you may be right, because your wife's attitude leaves a lot to be desired. But I really do think you should look at the no more mr nice guy site in any event.
If you are constantly looking at sex as a way of filling up the loneliness and emptiness and of calming anxiety and fear (I'm not being sarcastic - all men feel this at times), rather than because you feel centred and full of positive energy to give, then you will likely repeat the mistakes you've made with your wife (i.e. constantly soothing and protecting and shielding her lest you spoil her mood for sex) in another relationship. Check out some of the threads on the no more mr nice guy site - they will really open your eyes.
Sorry you're having a difficult time.
S&A
"A man can be destroyed but not defeated" - from The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway.
Which I take to mean that every man has within him a spirit of relentlessness and optimism. Its already there; he just has to cultivate it.
