I'm with Sandi....talk about the things as they happen...no big blow out.....save the BIG talk for after her work, if needed. WHo knows, maybe bringing up these little issues, it may make a huge difference. There is no use in waiting. THese are the little things that happen every day that is driving you nuts. The disrespectful tone she takes, the inconsiderate things she does/says. In fact, I know you have doen this in the past and she doesn't ever disagree. For example, you were at a restaurant and she talked snotty to you and you dropped your fork, apalled. She reacted by stopping and changing her behavior. Hope, I see so many things she is doing just from what you tell us. I don't think you are seeing them, though.
I don't want to say "little things" because having a wife disrespect their husband is big, but I hope you know what I mean. Then, the bed comes, and that will hopefully turn out good. So, then with the disrespectful things talked about, you can focus on getting your needs met concerning the affair. I know you said there were some unresolved issues you want to talk about to her, and you may want to have her go to Retrouvaille with you, or read books, etc. That, BIG TALK, can happen after.
