That sounds like a pretty good plan of action, other than still needing to fill in XYZ lol.
Love the refi plan. This is a great time to do it. I'll probably do some of that with my student loans as well. I absolutely love that you are tackling the finances and being more proactive. I know that is one thing that has bogged your R with your W and one reason that you both have lived with the roommate situation (besides the kids).
Hang in there! You sound good.
We have a nice warm spell this weekend too. It's like 60 today! I'm in short sleeves and jeans LOL. Yay for sunshine! (Of course I'll be saying the exact opposite in 4 months when it's consistently breaking 100 LMAO).
(((Jeff)))
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I'll post more in the next day or two. I went to C today, it was pretty validating for me.
She was familiar with Passionate Marriage, and says it is good. She thought that the plans I am hatching were good ones, I don't remember how much I have said, and it is too late to check now.... so I will elaborate later. She laughed when I was talking about how long different things have been.... I said that the no hugging thing hadn't been as long, only three years. Somehow the way I said it was pretty amusing. I told her I had to laugh about it, what else could I do? And I said that I might be an idiot. To go through 7 of the last ten years with NO ML at all. I have come to the conclusion that I am going to have one of them there Passionate Marriages. W can be part of it, or not. She is going to have to choose, and sooner than later.
C and I both agree that W will drag her feet on MC, and quite possibly avoid it, altogether. What is she going to sound like when she lists all of her complaints, and then has to admit that she hasn't even accepted a hug in three years? I don't think she wants that. But, I've been wrong before!
(((((((Michelle))))))) I golfed today, since I was off work. It was cold and windy when I started, I had on a sweatshirt and a jacket over my shirt, and was still quite uncomfortable. After a while the sweatshirt came off, and after a while longer the jacket was history. Soon there were almost complaints about the heat! It was about 75, and very sunny by then!
(((((Ali))))) I think you nailed it. I am resigned, or perhaps accepting, that her problem is not my problem. I have let it become my problem, and now I am going to give it back to her. If she never wants to hug, kiss, or ML again, that's fine. But I don't have to accept that. So, I don't think I am as depressed as I was.
So, you've been here a year! Time flies when you are.... well, anyway!
(((((BobbiJo))))) It is supposed to be nice at least through the weekend!
(((((Mishka))))) I don't know if it is apathy, so much as letting her problems he her problems. If she doesn't want to go to MC, I am not going to let that be my problem. She can own it.
Two soccer games tomorrow! Nice weather is a good thing!
Last edited by Virtually_Handsome; 01/17/0908:05 AM.
I just have to say that I wish I had even a fraction of your patience!!
I am glad to see you growing in strength and confidence. You deserve it!! You are a remarkable man! To have stood for your M as long as you have, with virtually none of your emotional needs being met, and still maintain the sense of humor you have, I think, says absolute volumes about your character!! You are definitely in a class of your own when it comes to faithfulness!
Your W doesn't know how infinitely lucky she is to have man like you in her corner......but we on this board do!! Your care and compassion and patience is a real gift, and you deserve a life partner who truly appreciates you for the priceless gem you are!!
I sincerely hope your W wakes up soon, and realizes what beauty she has in you, but if she doesn't, then don't continue to settle for less than you deserve!
((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
Horray for Passionate Marriages... !!! You know what? When I read what you said, I got...excited. We should all have good relatonships/marriages. What's the use of an R when all it does is cost us? I like your attitude. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx K
It's taken a long time for me to see it. But my attitude is a lot better. And I am finally understanding that I have to be responsible for my life. It isn't her problem.
((((((Michelle)))))) It was a good weekend, lots of outside time! S11's team lost 3-1, then tied 2-2, then lost 1-0. The tie was the first time they haven't lost, and they were ahead most of the game! And the 1-0 was a goal very near the end, and S11 (the keeper) almost saved it! The most interesting part of the weekend that Saturday night he started to have really bad abdominal pain. After a while, probably a couple of hours, W was on the verge of taking him to the ER, the pain went away, as quickly as it had come on! He was fine yesterday, so whatever it was must be gone!
(((((Lisa))))) I've missed you! You know if there is anything I can do (from a distance!) I'll be happy to do it!
(((((Silent))))) I don't know if it has all been patience! I think there was some procrastination involved! Or perhaps disbelief! Things are going to change now. And I am read for it, whatever it looks like!
A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.'
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did -better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch.'
The man perks up at this. 'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.'
The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day. 'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?'
