Like I said though, I'm not going to dump this on her right in the middle of what she has going on at work. I'll wait until it's over
You are talking like a "sit down" type of conversation. What I'm really refering to is not that type of talk. I am saying to call her hand on things as she does them.
I can appreciate your consideration for her during all this stress at work, but if it is going to last through Feb or middle of March....wow....when will a good time be for you to start? I think starting with the bed would be a big issue. Until then, I would start by saying little things to whatever she does that is not respectful or considerate to you. It would almost be like training a teenager the things she should have known from childhood, but maybe didn't. Or.......again, like me and she treats her H in ways she would not even consider treating a stranger b/c she knows she can get away with it!
Until the bed gets there, why not pull back on getting the drinks she likes and doing all those special little things for her? I know that is "who you are", but do an experiment here and just see how she responds or if she says anything. Are you game? If she says something about you not doing those nice little things anymore, that is your perfect opening for just giving a short reply (not a lecture) about how she doesn't seem to think about your feelings or what your needs may be. Be prepared for any reaction after that...lol. Seriously, don't take my quotes b/c I am way tooo sarcastic, so use your own words.
By the time the bed arrives, you may be ready to draw that line in the sand for good! At least, you would have been leading up by doing these....rather baby steps of confronting her about her disrespect. IMHO, that would be the route to go rather than to "wait" for the bed, b/c that would be "dumping" on her all at once. If you go with the smaller issues between now and when the bed arrives, then you can ask her (if she refuses to sleep in the new bed) what her excuse is now. That may be the time for the "sit-down" conversation and have it out!
I can relate to how stress at work can affect one's health and their entire life, so I understand fully your reasons for waiting, but due to your feeling of so much detachment, I am very concerned about you putting off getting this started. Maybe baby steps, if you are concerned about it being too much too soon?
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
