I've thought about that, too, Breakaway, but then I get it thrown in my face that I'm just a roller coaster ride and that if that's how it is now, he doesn't want to do it anymore. Or I'm accused of not wanting to be friends or doing what's in the best interest of the kids. It seems like a no-win stitch, no matter what.
Of course it's a no-win sitch. It's a no-win sitch by design. It's called the double-bind. Nothing you do will be "correct." It's a hallmark of emotional controllers. And of people looking for excuses for bad behavior, playing hurt/martyr/victim.
So you do what's good for you. Expect recriminations. You're going to get them whether you do what he wants or what you need. So do what you need.
