I need to get these crummy feelings out of me. I am so upset that I'm having a difficult time thinking of anything else right now.
My ex-husband has not acknowledged either of our kids' birthdays for the last two years. Yesterday was my daughter's birthday. He didn't call or write. She didn't mention anything and usually I would just lament about it a bit and move on but the guys been such a waste-oid these last few months. He's lost two jobs and has been down on his luck financially. He wrote and asked me if we could work something out for child support. The kids have been complaining about his lack of money for some time. They tell me that they can't do anything because of the lack of money he has.
When he addressed this issue with me, I said that I would give him some of the money he pays in child support back to him for him to USE ON THE KIDS. What I explained to him is for him to do "fun" stuff like movies, out to eat, stock his pantry, junk like that. That went fine for a couple months 'til Christmas. The kids came back from a weekend with him after Christmas and I asked them what they got from their father and they said nothing. They said that he couldn't afford anything right now. Not only that, he took the $100 each that his parents gave to the kids and kept it and told them that he'd give it back to them later... My son said that he told his dad that he can keep his $100 'cuz there is nothing that he needs. My daughter called him and asked him for her money and he said he was sending it and of course, it never showed up.
I also found out that he has a new girlfriend with young children and my money is on the notion that he bought things for her but couldn't come up with anything for his own kids because he's trying to impress her. At this point, I am no longer giving him money back because he's not doing anything with it for the kids and I wasn't doing it to help him out in any other way than to be able to lighten the load for the kids.
He also sent me a most recent e-mail saying that he couldn't take the kids for a month or so because he didn't have the money for them. This was after I said that I wouldn't be paying him the money I was sending him. I suppose he's showing me. I'm sick of sending my kids and having them come back in size 10 clothes (my daughter is 15) and girl tops and bottoms for my son that are also extremely small.
It makes me sick a) that I married this guy and had kids with him and b) that he is such a selfish pigdog to have all his priorities all messed up. I usually blow this stuff off as it's here and there and not so all at once.
The guy is what, 45? He still doesn't have anything together any more than he did when we split up. I just more than anything can't believe that his kids mean so little to him. It makes me very sad. If they complained about it, I would feel so much worse. The feel sorry for him, which I guess I understand, but they also aren't really thinking of what he's not doing. I think some day they will look back on their childhood and maybe consider what a schlub he was... I mean we were just in his town for a swim meet and he couldn't even show up for five minutes for that. I CAN NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME UNDERSTAND PEOPLE LIKE HIM. How can you look your child in the eye and accept their love knowing that you aren't even the parent you should be? That stuff just blows my mind.
