He is an emotional abuser, alcohol or no alcohol. He is tormenting you on purpose. WTF else would he say something about OW and THEN ask "are you okay?" For him to say what's going on? oh I'm drinking and looking at porn is CRAZY.
Mel, no wonder you are upset. He's massively f*&king with your head. It's sick. I don't have any "advice" right at the moment...I just wanted to tell you there is nothing wrong with YOU. You have to let go of your affair guilt and start thinking enough of yourself to not let him keep punishing you for it.
If anything, if you want to use HIS mindset for the day, now that he's doing it, you're off the hook. If it's okay for him...what do you feel so bad about?
Low self-esteem led you into your affairs and low self-esteem is letting you be beat up because of them.
I don't know a lot about all the DB techniques really, because I'm the AWAW...but I would think going dark is the best thing you can do at this point. Then concentrate on you.
