His reply: Your anger, which sometimes causes my anger, is a very big setback factor to what we are trying to do. Whatever progress we make, a moment of your anger, a misunderstanding, sets everything back. I am very hesitant and on guard. That is why I am "stagnant".
They told us at MC that "we are not ready yet" and I have kept this on my mind. I am afraid that they maybe right and the timing is not good and as a result this effort will go wasted. Of course that doesnt mean I feel we shouldnt try because of what they said or because of our anger.
Let's talk, I have bo objection to that. But, please, not about issues for which I have no other answers to give. For the things you are asking, I am thinking what else I could tell you to satisfy you. But I dont have anything else. In any case, lets' talk for whatever you want.
...looking at some of the things that jump out.. he is NOT willing to take responsibility (yet?) for what has happened. I hear the blame in his voice. I think he is trying to ignore the middle bit (his leaving and the OW) as though that didnt happen and try and move forward from the point that led to that in the first place. He doesnt seem to want to take the blame for where you find yourselves, being about the S and his A? He keeps saying its YOUR anger, YOUR fault? Thats not good! What does he expect though, after what happened??? Has he ever asked yuo to forgive him for leaving? Or asked you if you have forgiven him?
Its ridiculous he says he as "no other answers" and says "I dont have anything else".. thats just being avoidant and cowardly, as you say. He is very defensive. He is afraid, he said so himself. He's cautious. Maybe (this might sound silly).. he doesnt want to get hurt? He cant seem to appreciate or emeliorate your hurt either. He's stuck in still thinking whats best for him.
Can you skip the S and the OW and talk about the year BEFORE all that and what led him to leaving?? Unpick that end of it? The S and OW are only a symptom afterall, have you two talked about what led to the S?
Did you write back, or wait?? I can see you are hurt and angry, its all getting to be a bit of a mess isnt it, resentments on top of past hurts.
