Maybe I should be in piecing part 5?

[Hope4us]

You're absolutely correct Sakaro. And I know this sounds like an excuse, but I've had "that talk" with her a number of times since then and every time she does just enough to make me think she's figuring it out. And she does just enough to pull me back in without making any kind of real commitment. And with the financial situation of our house and my job it's all just drug out longer than it should.

And this weekend is a perfect example. I already talked about how she was Friday night when she got home from work. All talkative etc. Saturday morning she's in a very good mood. We leave around 3:00 for our concert/dinner. We check into the hotel and head to dinner. Have a nice meal, lots of conversation, then the concert where we both have a very good time. Many times during the concert she was leaning closer to me etc, but I just wasn't really in the mood. After the concert we walked to a bar and spent a couple hours there. W talking the whole time. I was very attentive. Listened and listened. At one point in the conversation, W's friend M came up. Remember, she's the one that I talked about from W's Christmas party and how W would change when she was talking to her and then change back when she'd talk to me. So when M came up in the conversation, I said to W "I'm not trying to be mean here, but I found it very interesting at the Christmas party how you would change when you were having conversations with M". W said "what do you mean?" I said, "Ok, don't take this wrong and again, I'm not saying this to be mean, but M just seems a little 'duh' to me and when you talk to her it's like you have to 'duh' yourself down to her level to have a conversation with her but then when you'd be done talking to her and turn the conversation back to me you were able to be yourself" and W said "yes, you're right".

So we went back to the hotel and I went straight to bed. Of course we slept in the same bed again. And in the morning, W was in a great mood. Joking with me, changed her clothes right in front of me. We stopped and got some food on the way home and when we got home we each took a nap (yep, we're old). Woke up and watched the NFL playoffs together (WooHoo Steelers!). After the games were over I went to bed.

So, sounds like a good weekend right? I thought so too. But this morning W comes upstairs and starts getting ready for work and the first thing out of her mouth is "You didn't get my toothbrush out of the suitcase?" No thanks for unpacking the suitcase, but why didn't I do it right? I asked her where it was in the suitcase and she said wrapped up in a plastic bag in the top section and I replied, "oh, I didn't realize that was your toothbrush". She just opened the drawer and said (in kind of a bit*hy tone) "I've got another one" and proceeded to continue getting ready.

Ok, so not really bad huh? But...today is my birthday. She never once mentioned it. No Happy Birthday, nothing. She can bit*h about me not unpacking the suitcase correctly cause it affects HER, but never once mentions my Birthday. Of course she may mention it tonight. We'll see, but it's just another instance reinforcing the walk away path I'm on.

But I'm not letting it affect my weekend. I had a great time at the show/dinner/bar. And had a great time yesterday watching the games etc. I just feel more and more detached to a point where I'm not sure if I'll want to make it work if she comes around.