OK guys, I need your help here. Following you will find directly translated -as best as possible- our communication via email of this morning.
Me : As you have realised, I cant pretend that nothing has happened. I feel very angry and hurt. Very hurt. While we were apart, I had managed to think that you made your choice and that was it. I was respecting your choice and moving on. You didnt matter to me as my H only as my kids' dad. Now, that we are trying to renter each other's lives, I have needs, requests and a great big anger. I know that for you it would be better to "move forward" and not look back. Unfortunately this isnt possible, I cant do it, I am not able to do it. The way and pace you choose for us isnt taking us anywhere and it really is bad for me . I think it is time to talk.
His reply: Your anger, which sometimes causes my anger, is a very big setback factor to what we are trying to do. Whatever progress we make, a moment of yoru anger, a misunderstanding, sets everything back. I am very hesitant and on guard. That is why I am "stagnant". They told us at MC that "we are not ready yet" and I have kept this on my mind. I am afraid that they maybe right and the timing is not good and as a result this effort will go wasted. Of course that doesnt mean I feel we shouldnt try because of what they said or because of our anger. Let's talk, I have bo objection to that. But, please, not about issues for which I have no other answers to give. For the things you are asking, I am thinking what else I could tell you to satisfy you. But I dont have anything else. In any case, lets' talk for whatever you want.
The Mc told us that she could see the anger and that we are not ready to consider ourselves reconcilliated or move in together and that they agreed with taking it slow.
They also told him he has to make a choice regarding time, risk to give, listen etc etc... Obviously those parts escaped his memory. I am pissed off he is trying to set boundaries to the talk, he means the OW issue of course, and honestly I wanst going to talk about her. Right now, I dont want to talk to him at all. I want this to end. I see no reason why I should convince him to love me. I see no reason why I have to sell myself again as a product. I am not sending an email back at the moment. I had one drafted but was too mean and mad and I will sit quiet for while. K
