CIW, no one led my H away. H decided that he wants out. It's his own decision. I don't understand why we let people off the hook for their actions? OW was just a catalyst so that he wouldn't be lonely when he left. I understand that now.
He was having problems with the M, he didn't share them with me because he is not used to sharing 'negative' feelings. He felt vulnerable. Then he started looking for faults in me. It started to get on his nerves. OW presented herself, batted her eyelashes and whew, he was gone. I am holding him fully responsible. He made many decisions to not work on our M along the way. He chose not to get MC, he chose not to read any books on the subject, he chose not to talk to friends and family for advice, he chose not to share with me. These are all his choices even before OW showed up.
So CIW, I feel the same way, he left me partly because of me but CIW, he left me mainly because of HIM!!!
So CIW, don't take on all the blame! I see you putting all of this on yourself. Your W has issues. She has had them for some time now and you end up feeling it's your fault. It is not! You are still there willing to work on things. She, on the other hand, refuse to do the things I listed above. So this is not your fault. You are still in the M, she is choosing to walk. You are good person, don't punish yourself.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
