PM Thread #3

[PositivelyMommy]

We had a great weekend with H. MIL's visit seems to have a good effect on him so far. He is more focused on kids. Looks less stressed and looks a little more grounded. I have no idea of what is going on with A. Don't care really. The less I hear about it the better.

We spent about 6 hours together on Sat. S8 had sports that day. I was going to beg off but H wanted me to come along? It raised red flags but turned out to be nothing. Did he just want some company??? I think he misses his Mom but he was not dying to get away from me this time. So I thought, OK. Do something different. For the past few months, I kept dark and just let him take S out to sports by himself but on Sat he was actually offering for me to go. So I did. I acted 'as if', made small talk and we had a nice relaxing time together. S thought it was great because both his Mom and Dad watched him play.

On Sunday, H came around just before lunch, as always. We spent the day together. Even had a few laughs!! NO SERIOUS talks at all but just fooling around with the kids. Again, he did not seem so distant as before. Has been more relaxed around my presence and playing with the kids. It's what I wanted all these years and finally coming together. But now, we are separated. Sigh!

I think his Mom's visit and her interaction with IC and I think IC had a session with him. All these things are having a positive effect on H. I don't know if these are permanent and I don't know what he is going through on the inside. But the best thing to come out of it is that our weekends are more relaxed and he is engaged in the children. I am thankful for babysteps. It's a sign in the right direction, at least. I am trying to adjust my expectations and not hope for too much. This is just one step. Oh and he said thanks to me several times this weekend. Thanks for showing his Mom a good time while she was here. Thanks for cooking dinner for us. I felt those were soft, sincere thanks. Not forced or strained.

I just want to live peacefully now, that is all I expect. If we can do that, then I won't ride on the roller coaster again. Thanks for listening everyone.