I also am a wayward spouse and I dont see any of your requests as unreasonable. Personally I welcomed them when my a was discovered and had no problems carrying them out.
What I did do was LIE. I never told H the full truth until years later which has resulted in me being on my own now. He left me.
If I could see what damage I was doing by lying I NEVER ever would of. OM was a bad influence during my A.
So please please please make sure you have the truth. She may hate you digging but it is in her best interest if you did.
Any stories coming out later will seriously erode everything your working towards.
