Luci in piecing!

[Luci]

Journaling:

So now I feel worse than before. We dropped the conversation for a while - he went back out to the store, came home and shaved...I had some lunch and played a few internet games. We were both kind of just doing our own thing to cool off, some.

The discussion came up again later. We talked about it for a bit and at one point he declared that he was done with the talking. He had made his choice, I wasn't going to this dinner, and that was it.

He claims the "discussion" should have been over with in 15 minutes after the first time it came up and he can't believe we spent "all day" arguing about it.

That bothers me. First because I don't want to be talked down to. Secondly, because sometimes it takes longer than 15 minutes to get to a place where both partners are comfortable with the choice made. I don't expect to get my way but I DO expect my partner is going to listen to me and give my feelings some respect.

And it -was not- "all day". It was probably an hour and a half, total, combined.

He went to work, and now I'm nervous that he's going to stew on this as usual and use it to keep score against me.

[Also, a side argument came up. So asked how I got the impression that he didn't care about my feelings. My example was when he told me they "didn't effin' make sense." He says he never said it that way, he doesn't use swears when we argue.

My eyes about popped out of my head. We're BOTH potty mouths in our regular speech. I can't count on both hands and toes how many F-bombs we've both dropped today in NORMAL conversation. It doesn't change when we're mad, though we are careful about not name calling.

But he doesn't STOP swearing when we're in an argument, he talks just like he normally does - only louder.

I said maybe he's so comfortable with the F word he didn't notice it, but he DID, indeed, say it just like that and that comment was an example of why I feel like my feelings aren't being respected.]





I don't know how to 180 this one. I'm obviously not okay with my feelings being irrelevant. I'm not okay with being excluded from the family.

So maybe I should just pretend it doesn't bother me? Which seems really unfair that I should have to.