DA Club

[silvagod]

Hi WIT,

I like your thinking about detachment. That is where I want to be, at the moment I am doing great with the NC, day 7 and holding strong. I think less and less about what W may be doing and that is releasing me to GAL. THe exact result I was hoping for.

If and when contact starts again, if we have to meet up, then I need to be aware of myself and remain in the detached state. That way I won't be feeling all sorry for myself when I get home. I feel like I am getting there, but not quite ready for that yet.

That's what this club is for, help, a watching brief over our own sitchs and a 2 x 4 if we mess up.

[whateverittakes]

Thanks, god. You're going to get there when you get there! It's a process. Although I sometimes wish I had a crystal ball for all of us, I also recognize that the only impact we can have on our futures is how we choose to live in the present and to learn from the past.

I've posted an unexpected experience on my thread, if you have time to check it out (or nothing else to do, I know you're galing, hah!)

Welcome to our new member! You don't sound like you need help... you're doing just fine. But I hope you will benefit from the support and encouragement that this shared thread offers.

[theotherhalf]

NC was broken today, but not by ME!! H came unexpectedly and was around here for about 3 hrs. I was pleasant, no questions, and kept busy. SO very proud of myself. And there will be no tears now that he's gone. Detached detached detached!!! I will not be calling him tomorrow or the next because I miss him. I will keep on keeping on. Promise to myself...

[Startingover2]

Hello...My sich is sort of strange. Here is my last thread:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1696326&page=0&fpart=1

I really want to detach emotionally. I do really good in not calling or texting him unless its an emergency. My hard time is when he gets bored or drinking he begins to contact me and bait me. That is when I start my backwards spiral mentally.

I have had a few turn of events in the past week (in my sich) that will be making my detachment harder.

Thank you for this club...I could use it!

[samina]

Hi,

I don't know if this will help. But I don't answer numbers I don't recongnise. So I deleted H's no from my phone and when he used to ring - I would have no idea who it was and not answer!! I guess not everyone is as ditsy as me so might not work for all!! Also having to look up the number to dial or put into text is a faff so it just gives the brain enough time to reconsider....Good luck

[silvagod]

Excellent TOH.

Sounds like you did REAL well today.

We will be watching you

[silvagod]

Hi SO2,

Nice to see you here!

It's a little late here now, but I will catch up with your sitch soon.

The hardest thing is as you say, not to let them 'push your buttons'. Once that is mastered, you will be truly detached.

It's not easy, but we are all in this together and support is only a keystroke away

[silvagod]

Hi Samina,

That's not a bad idea, my W 'caught' me with that the other day. She called from work and that is a withheld number. I answered, glad I did actually as it was a nice call.

I have a new tel no. and there are only immediate family (including W) that knows it, so I don't get calls from anyone else.

[JDOllie]

Figured I'd announce here, posted on my thread. I am going DARK - W is obviously completely bouncing around, and the biggest clarification I got today is that she has no concept of what forgiveness is, and is firmly rooted in the past.

I was kind and open, and fair, and she was a Bitc. - So, I'll give her what she "wants", and basically ignore.

Finally!

[whateverittakes]

TOH - very impressed by how you're handling a tough situation. Keep letting us know how it is going.