may be his "one true love"?

[pearlharbr]

I meant to try XC skiing when I lived in Anchorage, WIT. Just never got off my lazy a$$ to do it. Sigh, another regret. But I am going to try downhill next weekend for the first time in 20 years! And I would love to go snowshoeing, I'm just afraid to get my MINI stuck in the mountains if it snows too much. I may just do a little weather research and go somewhere during the week. Hey, I should take advantage of weekdays while I'm still unemployed!

Sounds like you have a lot of personal reflection to do, both regarding your M and your life in general. I feel that way too. Not about children since I decided long ago I'm not interested in parenting, but about where my life is going and how I want to live it. This crisis has been a wake-up call to everything and I feel like I'm at a major crossroads.

Good luck with the adoption decision, I know it's a big one.