Is the answer blowing in the wind?

[Trixi]

Nervous about tomorrow.
I had sent a TM to H saying that I would get him tomorrow morning at "8:30, k?" and he never responded so a few hours later I sent a 'ping' TM. About an hour and a half after that he called. Apparently he only got the ping and not the time. He was like "yeah, I was just sitting here watching mind-numbing TV, thought I would take a break, saw that you pinged." He said that he was waiting for me to call him and was surprised that I hadn't called. He had the sweet tone to his voice. I was all business; not too friendly, but not too curt, either.

We hung up quickly, but afterwards I felt ...disturbed. I hate that hearing his voice makes me miss him more. I hate that he tells me one thing "I love taking care of you" and does something different (abandons me). sigh

I have an appt scheduled to see a solution based therapist on Tuesday and an email to another (so I can interview them.) I'll call the doctor on Monday (or Tuesday if they're closed) to schedule an appt to get all my hormones checked. I found an attorney who is "okay" with the idea of consultations to determine what your rights are and what a likely court outcome would be--and then if LATER you find you need help, they will help you. IOW, just exactly what I want. I do not want more than what's due me, nor do I want to get less, either. If my H really wants to divorce, my hope is we can reach an agreement without a big cost. I will call that attorney next week.
I took my mom out to lunch the other day and she tried to argue me out of being an introvert. I told her there was a book that showed the brain chemistry and she says "Oh, there's a book for everything". Sigh. Then I tell her I have always needed some quiet time and she says "But, how did you *get* that way?" I say "Uh, it's my temperament-God made me that way" and she says "I wonder if you've had thyroid problems since you were a kid." argh!!! I found a blurb from a book that said that introversion is hardwired and not a disability. I sent her a paragraph outlining what's 'good' about introverts (They are dependable, persistent, flexible, and lack vanity.) I asked her to PLEASE STOP making me wrong for being who I am and accept that I just work differently from her. Hopefully it works.
Main point of this long winded paragraph--I am trying to make strides to take care of myself.

Wish me luck tomorrow. Oh, and no worries about anything 'bad' happening, the passes are clear and dry- there will be no 8 hour drives, no overnights. It's a one day trip. easy peasy.