WIT, Just one thing I will tell you as I was reading some of your backgrounds - maybe you've already decided this, but I'll just make it more concrete.
Don't waste time on the OW - I think I told someone the other day that any energy spent thinking about H/OW is energy wasted - mostly because it wasn't spent on you!
I'm just like you - I want to know every detail, and that's how I was at first. But now, I simply want to know WHY W wants him - I don't care what he looks like, how he acts, who he is - ANYTHING. The only single thing I desire to know is why she was attracted to him in the first place. Luckily, this is exactly what Michelle recommends in her book.
Forgiveness is a tricky thing. If your H did come back, do you really want to look at him, and have sordid details of an affair flash in your mind? Or would you rather look at him, and know that what he did was wrong, but you are both moving past it?
That's how I am with my W - I don't have any idea if it's a PA or not, and I don't care. If she comes back, and wants to be with me - I'm going to take that and run with it. OM will obviously have to be a thing of the past never to appear again, but I will accomplish NOTHING if I fixate on him, now or in the future.
Just thinking out loud.
Good for you on the skiing! My hardest days are when I don't have my kids - I basically clean a lot so the time goes faster! Just keep up the good work - awesome about the basement as well!
Just keep up the good work - awesome about the basement as well!