Rebuilding trust - what are reasonable requests?

[Bridgestone]

You are right Bridgestone. I feel needy and horrifically insecure about our relationship right about now.

I can admit that, and my W can understand it and wants to whatever she can to help. So that's good right?

I don't think it's good or bad.. it is what it is. How you each perceive it and agree to it is what matters.

And while it seems like I am treating her like a 'truant teen', now that she is looking back with a new perspective, she can admit her behavior was rather childish for her age (37).

That doesn't require the 'retributions' be just as childish.

She says she can now see how she was 'acting out' and is very remorseful. And I can understand why she would feel compelled to 'act out' in the 1st place and have told her this to help ease her own feelings of guilt.

Is it ONLY to ease her feelings of guilt or do you REALLY think this? As my H & I are working to rebuild trust (for other reasons that yours) in our R. his incongruancy in words from one time to the next fuels my fears his changes are temporary. I hope sincerity on your part will help ease hers.

We are really working together, no longer playing 'blame game' but taking ownership of our crap and forgiving one another and trying to help each other get right ASAP.

That sounds wonderful... I'm happy for you. ASAP may take a while. I compare it to losing weight.. the quicker you take it off the quicker it comes back on. The slower the process, the more real the lifestyle changes & habits become to make the change 'real' and more permanent.

Believe me, I dont want to carry these feelings forever and am really working at getting through them.

kudos for you. i wish you the best.

Peace
Bridge