Rebuilding trust - what are reasonable requests?

[EnergyAZ]

You are right Bridgestone. I feel needy and horrifically insecure about our relationship right about now.

I can admit that, and my W can understand it and wants to whatever she can to help. So that's good right?

And while it seems like I am treating her like a 'truant teen', now that she is looking back with a new perspective, she can admit her behavior was rather childish for her age (37). She says she can now see how she was 'acting out' and is very remorseful. And I can understand why she would feel compelled to 'act out' in the 1st place and have told her this to help ease her own feelings of guilt. We are really working together, no longer playing 'blame game' but taking ownership of our crap and forgiving one another and trying to help each other get right ASAP. Life is too short ya know?


"Will the transparency and access to personal communication & the opposite sex meetings be a two-way street?"

Absolutely. But I have never been anything but completely open with her. She has full access to my email, phone records, myspace account. I dont care, I have nothing at all to hide - never have. To the point she never even looks, but she can any time she wants.

Plus, all of my female friends are her friends. One female friend in particular has been someone we both have confided in and she has been wonderfully supportive without taking sides or casting stones of judgment.

"Is there a time limit on this? Will you share with her, at what point these requests are no longer necessary?"

To be honest, I have no idea how long this will take. However, with her patience and cooperative attitude, I do think I will get through this rather efficiently. Believe me, I dont want to carry these feelings forever and am really working at getting through them.