DA Club

[SingleDad]

I'll join the DA club.

I've been in and out of NC for months now. Kept regressing - even though no direct C, through Christmas weeks I was leaving a late night voicemail with my "thoughts about the situation" - major regressions.

last time I saw WAW was 12/29/08 and 12/30/08 when she had to pick up my D3, but no real conversation.

since then there WAW called me 1/6/09 about D3 schedule only. and 1/13/09 about Health Insurance.

We actually had a really nice conversation on 1/8/09 - about time with my D3. WAW wanted to sign up for swim classes for D3 and wanted me to take her - even when it was her time. Also this was the conversation about whose bed D3 sleeps in and eating - when WAW disclosed "I don't want to get into it, but 80-90% of the time I am (sleeping) alone (meaning without OM)."

Oh, and I regressed again 1/12 in a voicemail, after mentioning health, I told her that "I wanted to be friends with her - we really didn't that much during our M. I am sorry about that. I can't change the past. I do not think I even have much influence on the future"

So even though I thought I was NC for almost 3 weeks - I had two regressions - if those are regressions ????

But I guess I need to ask as far as detachment goes... clearly any backtracking by arguing or being clingy fails as far as detachment goes... big no no's. But what about good friendly conversations ?

Obviously friendly conversations are not NC, but as far as they can be positive moves in the right direction, does that violate the rules of DA ? I mean, DA and friendly conversations seem to be contradictory... But doesn't DA, when done properly, help in WAW wanting to have friendly conversations, as a positive end result - a goal of DA?

now, I'm confusing myself... help ??

Seems DA helps allow detachment so that any conversations going forward can be positive interactions in the right direction (as opposed to needy, clingy, R talk ) ??? Is that right ?