Going thru all the excellent, thoughtful posts sent by the many people that care & want to see a happy, fulfilled Maria, it looks like there's something in all of them.
Putting it all together on how you want to progress would probably be made easier by stepping back as some have suggested, and allowing a little break for yourself.
Since I see similarities in my H as far as withholding behavior, is there a possibility that he has not quite broken everything off with the OW. That would explain his unwillingness to really & fully jump in. Of course, it could just be the way he operates, as you say, & maybe has nothing to do with it.
I do go with Rob in betting that putting the M aside & finding peace with yourself will bring clarity & it will all fall into place.
