I keep trying to transform my W's arrows into flowers.

On Tuesday night we went to a favorite jazz club. The evening didn't turn out well because there were only three of us from our dance community. I didn't want to dance as much as my W and this caused conflict, an a difficult car ride home. I think the solution is to avoid venues, where we know the number of dancers is going to be small, because I cannot meet my W's expectations regarding number of dances.

I decided to go again with her the next night to a dance venue. She had a great time as many of her favorite partners were there. I had decided the antidote to a difficult evening, is to get out again as soon as possible.

My W unknowingly told the DJ that my birthday was soon (1/16). This means that my name is announced, and I go out on the dance floor, and ladies line-up to dance with me. I had decided to be low-key about my birthday this year.

My name was announced, and I had my coat on and tennis shoes. I was unbalanced, and failed to recover. I chose to leave, with people looking at me, puzzled by my actions.

I was upset with my W in the car afterwards, for not asking me if I wanted to be in the spotlight. She couldn't empathize with me, and couldn't understand why I wasn't grateful for the surprise. I could tell we were going to go in circles, so said nothing further about it once we got home.

On Thursday, my W and I attended a wine tasting at a favorite restaurant. We enjoyed it, and enjoyed conversing with people in the table next to us.

Last night, we went to a Friendship Force meeting and listened to a world traveler describe his travels. We left with an application and intend to join. It is an exchange program where one hosts world travlers for a week or so, and visits other countries and are hosted by a family.

I think what I'm doing differently is being more resilient about recovering from a difficult night, and rather than dwelling on it, move on to to the next positive experience. My W and I have also cultivated and continue to cultivate a balanced life, filled with positive experiences.

CL

Last edited by Concerned_Listener; 01/17/09 04:00 PM.
CL 53 W 54
M 20 yrs.
03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL
10-14' Piecing

"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."

----Tao Te Ching