It's cross-country skiing that I'm mad about... don't know whether that changes it for you, god.
XC skiing and this year, snowshoeing, are my winter passions. I live very close to a river that freezes up and I'm snowshoeing miles in the dark early mornings with the dogs, before work. It's fantastic.
Journalling....
The nc or going dim has particular dimensions in my sitch. There are 2 factors: my h's process is very slow and he has some involvement with ow, perhaps a full-fledged relationship. Secondly, our m may be over regardless. It may be one of the ones that MWD talks about it her book.
That impacts on my thinking. During the nc, I have spent alot of time considering life without my m and what I want the second half of my life to hold and be. I have a much stronger sense that I am responsible for the choices and decisions I make that create my own happiness.
I'm in my mid-40s. I don't have children. One of the things I mull regularly is whether, when I'm healed, I will begin the process of adopting a child by myself. The prospect of parenting a young child alone at mid-life is daunting. I don't know where I'll end up on that decision but it is a factor in turning over whether and when I want to bring some final clarity to the situation with h. There is a sense that I don't have time to wait too long or that I've already waited long enough.
Right now it means that my life just hasn't turned out like I planned or hoped. I'm grieving that as well, I suppose.
