FIB, if you were to say all those things to her, she would be hearing, blah, blah, blah. You've said them before. It wont make any difference. At some point she will realize it all, maybe. So please dont say them.
You keep saying your pain is for your children. But it is not. It is for you also. And its ok to still feel it. Your life has drastically changed. It is not the life you wanted. You will still feel sad for years to come. And it is necessary for you to feel it. If you didnt, you wouldnt be FIB.
I know it is unbearable for you to think of being away from your kids on a daily basis. I also know that you will do what you must to make their lives happy, to let them know every day that you love them, to make memories with them they will carry for a lifetime. Kids dont need to be with someone every day to feel loved and cherished.
I wish for you an end to this as it is. I wish you days where the pain is not so sharp. I wish that you find peace within yourself with the knowledge that you did everything you could to keep your family together.
FIB--beginnersmind has said some very wise things. Sad and difficult to hear, perhaps, but wise.
You are a rare and wonderful person, a man of integrity and a great father. All of those things shine through on your posts in spite of tremendous adversity.
I wish for you to find peace, and that one day you will find there's joy in life remaining.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
4kids...I would like to hear more detail if possible. You would scream yahoo for love regained 9003 times. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
ditto what BegMind said...and I'd add, you know you could have held your breath to show her ......well, what? well, just to show her!!!
I think the texts, as short lived as that promise will be, are actually going to be good. You'll have a record of her nuttiness. Now, sorry if this makes all of you bristle but I found huge significance in w's tears. She's too sad to be indifferent so you cannot say that you don't matter. You do. I don't know wth that means, if anything, to YOU. But don't say she's indifferent. She wishes she were.
She's dug herself into a hole she doesn't know how to get out of, so be it. And just for my own curiosity, didn't you say she denied A #2 and 3? I mean, what the hell is actually going on? She wants out or not? What does she SAY about the divorce? Does she act surprised? Shocked? Victimized, and if so, how?
Point me in the direction of the right posts and I'll re-read them, but I only recall the one, ons and her confession of it. Thought she flirted with OM also, but didn't know there were definite A's. Maybe a moot point. Don't want to open old wounds, but sometimes I forget how the heck YOU got here...
you're a good guy FIB. Seriously. (( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
What you all predicted is coming true. My son has his Raingutter Rega(ta tonite...Cub Scouts. His boat is coming in first.
W, after texting: You have the kids. I'm going out.
And she left......
FIB.
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
What you all predicted is coming true. My son has his Raingutter Rega(ta tonite...Cub Scouts. His boat is coming in first.
W, after texting: You have the kids. I'm going out.
And she left......
FIB.
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
PS...my son took 1st. He won two trophies and a cerificate, She missed it.
And so it goes. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
SWEET BABIES!!! Winning the whole shebang! Geez, FIRST PLACE??! Wow...
Congrats...and frankly, it's actually a good thing she missed it. And So what? She'd have been weird, or added an odd dimension to it, or gotten sad and ruined it for you, or acted happy and fake and ruined it for you, or angry and furious at you, and ruined it for you.... or WHATEV....this is about you and your boy!. Manly men, etc. (yeah I know she missed it and it's her loss. Hopefully your son hardly noticed or took it in stride because of the guy factor. But damn, FIB, sometimes her loss is so outweighed by not having her 'stuff' everywhere, or where you least expect it, it's really really okay. Please just be happy right now, in this moment and know that as the author of "The Hours" meant, our lives are made up of these moments, and the rest of them. Savor these... xoxo j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
