Meditation on Mediation

[cat03]

hey there, welcome... I'm not much of a drinker, so I'll ask for a fuzzy navel

Nesting always did baffle me, so you live there part time... and pay for that place and your own place when you don't have the kids? I wouldnt think nesting was designed for long term, I mean, what if one of you remarries, she/you will have to go take the new spouse to the shared home? What are YOU comfortable with?

I went the mediation way as well after stalling a bit finding the right mediator (I called at least 6 to make sure I got an experienced one who's final paperwork would hold in court).

At the beginning stbx was also going to be a "co owner", he wouldn't make me sell home until kids reached 18 then we'd sell and split profits, however he was adamant he wouldnt' pay for any repairs at all. My L thought that was highly unfair, that after years of me paying the upkeep/repairs he comes in and rakes the benefits? What if there was a repair you'd think the house needed and she didnt think it necesary...who'd pay for it?
Co-owning sounds like nothing but trouble, if indeed the D would go through it'd be so hard to move on and heal if you both had to constantly be in contact about house problems.
Bad enough one is teethered to the stbx because of the kids, I couldn't imagen dealing with my stbx about house issues.

Do not do let her rush you, you have all the right to take your time and think things through. Sometimes you have to give up some things in order to gain others, so choose your battles.
Do not leave anything out! specially about visitation, write down exact hours and who'll get what holidays (or if you'll be taking turns), all school holidays and stuff, trust me, it will come back to bite you you-know-where if you just "hope" she'll be reasonable.