"Her H doesn't show any emotion, let alone dislike of her "barking". Personally, I think she is a lot gentler than I would be at this point."
But he has. He has shown some "emotion" and his dislike for the "barking". It is in there.. if I need to go back I will. He says it very clearly to me.. when he says.. "You will never be satisfied." I know this shoe.. I have worn it many times. Her H is not in any way shape or form.. meeting her expectations. That we can agree on. But.. having expectations are great.. you just need to wait on them sometimes.
Remember.. from the first time Kalni posted here.. things started over. What is past.. is past. She chose to build for the future. She did a great job. Now that the future is here.. she is having trouble putting it all together.
Fair enough?
IMHO.. there is still a tremendous amount of "hope" in this situation. He is ready.. she is willing and able. She is leaving him behind.. because she is ready, willing and able.
As silly as it sounds.. if you really want to test my "theory".. then Kalni needs to push for the D. Smiling the whole time. The issue will become.. she can't technically do that. He has to agree. He will stall it for sure. He has already done it.. I expect.. he will do it again.
"Fear is, again in my opinion, holding her back from acting on a decision that I believe she already has made in her heart. In fact, there is not a situation where fear and insecurity are a good thing."
That is a very interesting comment. "Fear" is simply not knowing the outcome. If I take you up in a plane.. strap a parachute on you.. fly to 40,000 feet.. open the door.. and tell you.. you might make this jump.. you might not. Is "fear" gonna be bad.. or good? I am not gonna push you out.. you have to decide to jump. I am gonna wait on you to decide.. what is best for you.. and your fear. "Fear" can make things more exciting.. or make you stand still. "Fear" is something that drives people.. and it shows up at the key moments.
"You see Forrest, and I have told Maria how I feel about this, sometimes the standers are so stern on standing that they lose focus on the fact that not all marriages will be saved."
I don't have any standards.. other than what people tell me.
That's all I have to say about that.
"Mind you, I have not told her to leave her marriage, you should reread my last three posts to Maria and maybe you will understand the direction that I am hoping she will follow."
Never said you did. I have been saying for.. (Weeks, Months, Days).. back off. Not leave.. back off. Cause I know without a shadow of a doubt.. they are right back in the cycle. I like you.. want people to "show" me the way.. cause in that.. I can help. I am really good at "seeing" what people want. Again.. look at where I came from.. to what I am now.
I simply cannot write all my thoughts here. People get confused with .25% of my thoughts. And that is ok.
"Maria continuing on in an unhappy marriage will lead to anger and resentment. Guess what, the kids will see that and feel it and it"
The tone of the kids has changed.. alot recently. I saw it.
Kids are like me.. they are just gonna say it.
Ohhh.. I remember her son coming down on her when she was not "doing enough". Now he is OK with it. Fickle he is!! I would still give him a hug.
Some where. He saw a leader.
"We can openly offer her our opinions and we can all express our thoughts on how we think she should proceed. We do not have to agree, many times we don't. All we can do is offer our support and comfort through a very tough period in each individuals life."
Trust me.. I am gonna fight for this one tooth and nail. Don't let my "fight" distract you.
"If I had my drothers Maria's H would make some changes and step up to show her that he can be what she needs."
If I had my druthers Maria would make some changes and step up to show him.. he can be what she needs.
"In fact, statistically I think that is the majority of what this site does and I for one think it is fantastic."
"His inaction and avoidance are so utterly confusing to me."
Me too Bill.. Me too.
I don't get it.. why he would not want to just "do what it takes"
My thought is.. he is lacking the support.. Kalni has.
" He does not act or talk like a man who has said to himself "I have nearly thrown away something very precious to me. I must find a way to show her that I love her and realize that I always have."
At the very core of all this.. she just said yes.
He walked away.. she DB'ed.. He came back.
Now we have a bunch a trash.
Kalni.. is dragging that "can" to the curb.
She is now calling for a extra pickup.
"He does not act or talk like a man who has said to himself "I have nearly thrown away something very precious to me. I must find a way to show her that I love her and realize that I always have."
You came in for a job. I was the interviewer. You are gonna woo me any way you can. You think you have all the skills. I believe you. You got the job.. Yea!
Now.. Bill. I need you too pull that transmission out of that Ford Taurus. The transmission jack is a little finicky.. and wants you to love it some. But it works. Now when you are done with that.. I need for you to figure out why our computer is not mapping drives all the time.
As the person that hired you.. where am I gonna expect you to be?
"It seems to me that if things are now to the point that the end can be glimpsed in front of you, it is time to hold nothing back in making clear just what the status is."
He has no idea.. this is the end.
"A date, a card, a daily call just about the two of us and the love that you have for me - any of these things would have spoken to me."
Everything before that.. drop it.
"I could be convinced to work our way to truly good love, but I see no signs at all that anything but what once was is in your plans."
"Keep your level head about the reality of your situation- by all means listen to other views - but they know nothing (really!) about how it plays out in the real world! - your world!"
