Young, confused, and unhappy... MLC???

[peacetoday]

Fit
If you are going to stand..then becoming a friend is a good start
remember if he is in MLC..it takes a lomg time and then some
so you will need plenty of patirnce
and then just work on your healing
its never a waste of time to stand in my opinion as it gives us the LBS time to heal and grieve
time toi reflect on our part in the failed M
and change in to the kind of person w we could be
we have nothing to lose
this journey has aided my growth more than any other in my life
peace

[FitChik]

and change in to the kind of person w we could be
we have nothing to lose
this journey has aided my growth more than any other in my life
peace

Thanks Peace. I completely agree with you. I am reflecting a lot on my faults in our M and improving myself. I know this time is a huge learning experience and I can already see my growth from it. It's unfortunate to have these difficulties, but we can reap a lot of rewards from them also.

I am willing to be a friend and support my H but at this point he is close minded to the idea. I am hoping with some time & patience, he will come back around.

[Flicka]

Your only fault was an optimistic leap into an ill considered marriage with a fractured partner. Lots of people do that. So sad.

Chick, please honestly consider whether he is the right father for your future children. I believe that you thought so, but consider the possibility that he is too messed up to be good parent material. His cold selfishness is interesting and alarming. I did read backward. I do feel so sad for you.

What is your military obligation? Are you going to be deployed as well? Dragging your feet about the D seems to making him more intent. Consider gunning for it with him in a faintly sincere way... In my own bad situation, when I fast forwarded, he backed off. "You are right, Jack Ass, we did not have fun or love each other... I will not keep you from your icky destiny... off you go!!"

Please be creative and do not be afraid of the future. You are still young. It will definately be interesting.

[FitChik]

Thank you Flicka.

I will be active duty for 2.5 more years (as will he). I should deploy this summer. There is no gunning it right now as he has filed. The D will be final in a few months and there is nothing I can do. I'll have think creatively like you suggested... Unfortunately at this point, we have little contact.

I am thankful I'm young and we don't have any kids, assets, etc. It's so much simpler than many stories on this site. But unfortunately it doesn't help my broken heart

[Flicka]

I am sorry for your broken heart... and I am sorry for your husband, too. Get out of his way for now. He is a 'hurter'.

Some people just need to spread their pain around.

Please just focus on tromping though this. You will come out on the other side much stronger and better able to partner up. Your future kiddies are going to be glad you regrouped and sorted out a better plan.

Love to you.

[peacetoday]

Fit
Its true what Flica said
this is hard on the kids and once a leaver well can they ever really be trusted
they are immature men really never grew up
the odds are not good here
but we love them that is our problem we love these unattainable guys
you are young and you will see
you will heal and then the right choices will come
peace

[FitChik]

Thanks to both of you.

Honestly if my H did come back around (a miracle sent from God)it would be very hard to fully trust him again. There would always that fear that he would repeat this again. I would never want to subject my children to this type of behavior.

I cannot do anything. But he just pulls on my heart so much b/c I know he is struggling. I believe he may go through his whole life unhappy and confused. It's very hard to see people you love hurt themselves and people around them. Very hard... But I know there is nothing I could do or say to help or change his mind. He has to do it himself. Sigh...

I'd ask if anyone has a 2x4 but I'm thinking none of us would be here if we did :-)

[peacetoday]

F
Many do go thru life unhappy
never find their way or they believe happiness comes from new cars, girls or money
each one of us has to figure it out on own own
I believe MLChappens b/c of not being there(spiritual)
wantinmg to find self oe the meaning of it all
probably some do find it usually thru the pain
we grow
all we can doi is pray for them and be there as we move into our new selves / lives
peace

[FitChik]

You're always right on spot peace!

I 100% agree and believe my H's problem is his lack of faith. He was a strong believer into his early 20s and knows far more about the bible than I ever will. I can tell how much of a passion it was for him. He has lost his faith for at least 5 years now and has grown bitter about it.

I often wondered (and still do) if a reason why we met was so to bring him back to his faith. I haven't told him this but would like to and am waiting for the right opportunity.

I honestly don't know how people get through life without faith. I would be a disaster without mine. Like you said, I will continue to pray for my H as I move on with life and hope for a miracle

[FitChik]

peace,

would it be appropriate to casually mention that i hoped/believed our R could be a way to re-open up my H's heart to his faith again? i've felt compelled to tell him for a while. it's one of those gut feelings i've had all along. but am unsure what approach i should use where he wouldn't get defensive or get angry. i feel like he thinks i'm satan right now :-)