Feeling...empty. # 53

[MichelleLT]

I thought Bill's post was pretty dead on. Maybe put that in another letter and let him read it.

Let's think about what worked: basically, you letting go was what prompted him to say he wanted to come home, yes? That made him realize that he was losing you, really and truly losing you. But also, you were happy on your own.

He is providing for you and the kids. That is a very traditional/stereotypical role. He almost certainly feels like he is showing his love through that. Obviously that doesn't work for you.

Consider though that what you are doing isn't completely working for him either.

Also consider that he wants a weekend away. Isn't that something you truly wanted? In your list you included a long weekend away. He is trying to make that happen.

Maybe later than you wanted, but he IS hearing some of it.

I suspect if you could bring yourself to encourage that behavior through his LLs, you might see more of it. Slowly probably, but surely.

No, you shouldn't settle. DBing is never about settling. It is about improving your M. It is about changing your tactics so you can get what you need. Sometimes that means taking care of it yourself, sometimes that means asking for it in the right way. And lots of times that means thanking your H in the right way.

If you need a break, take one. Tell him why.

Take care of you.

Hope you are sleeping well.

(((((((Kalni)))))))