Partner left after 9 years - He's 'confused' now

[MichelleLT]

LOL Trixi, that's pretty much what I did this summer.

Ali, just get out and meet people, hang out with the ones that you enjoy. While I totally get the whole spending time alone to heal, most of us on here have been coming up on a year or two alone. I know it took me a solid year after the bomb and a couple months after the second one before I got to the point where I was ready to date, and I was just interested in having some casual fun, getting out more. Wasn't looking for anything serious as I'm still dealing with papers for the D and all.

If you were to go out on a date, I don't think anyone, including you, should feel it was too soon. And now is probably not the best time in your life to dive headfirst into a new serious R. Going out on a date doesn't mean $h!t for long-term. So just have some fun and take care of you.

It's great that you know he was a good man. But he is depressed and dealing with a lot of issues that only he can fix. So enjoy your life in the meanwhile and see if he catches up to you later.

(((Ali)))

You can step off the roller coaster. It's not easy, hell sometimes contact with STBXH still sets me off, but compared to where I was a six months ago, it's barely noticeable. It's about letting go of your expectations, and letting go of him. “If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.” You can't control him sweetie, he's gotta make his own choices.

And you can choose to keep the door open while still moving forward with your life.