- I have let go of you in my heart. - I was fully prepared to move on with my life and whatever that entailed. - You said you wanted to come home. You indicated that you wanted to restore the marriage. - I have been honest with you. I told you that you would have to make me want to come back - that I was already gone inside. - A date, a card, a daily call just about the two of us and the love that you have for me - any of these things would have spoken to me. - I am no longer the woman I was before. I want to be loved, cherished. I want to SHARE my life with a man who wants to SHARE his life with me. - The old ways will not work. The life that we knew before - I cannot go back to that life. - If you truly loved me, desired me, longed for me, I should be able to SEE and FEEL that in the way that you treat me and interact with me. I feel instead like a sister. - I feel like if you were to fall in love with another person, you would KNOW what to do to express that love. And I cannot understand why you are not doing that with me. - I think that you expected me to be satisfied with you coming home, and that I would accept things being just like they always were. I'm not sure that you are hearing me when I say that I have changed and I need MORE from love than what we once had. - I could be convinced to work our way to truly good love, but I see no signs at all that anything but what once was is in your plans.
Brutal honesty.
A walk alone together. Person to person - no phone. A request that he FIND the time for this, as your future together is on the line.
I may sound stupid, or silly but Bill and Ian I have said all these. I have said it on the phone and in person. Not just the first time he said he wants to come back, I told him again when I said it is over and he came to my work to discuss this after reading a long letter with all these and more.
He listened to me. Tried to tell me that "the way things are, what can I do? Time is not enough, I love you, you should be patient, you are not as "open" , he tried to tell me I want too much. He said he never thought coming back would be enough, he k nows it is hard to get on track, he is willing, I dont see him trying... And then he said he thought things looked bad for us...He listens and doesnt act. He is soft and calm and I can see him scared when he feels I am ready to move on. But that's about it.
