It is a problem that has started and remained for a long time. This issue is still there.. it was never resolved.. never approached.
And he still doesnt feel it needs to be aproached. He wants it under the carpet. It's something he said knows is wrong but cant change it obviously.
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"please name 10 things, little ones, that he has done and I have mentioned here over the last 3 months showing how much he loves and needs me?"
the number was just a number the next question was my point, should it be enough and I am wrong to think it isnt?
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There are some.. is there 10.. maybe. That is not the point. The point is.. you can't see it.. maybe because you are looking for too much.. too soon.
Too soon? Who says it is too soon COry? You, me, him, my kids? WHO? When/how will I know it isnt early to quit?
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You have too keep yourself going.. again.. his actions should compliment that.. or his words. But again.. you can't just jump back in where you two left off and expect it to work. We end up here if you do.
That's what I said privately to you. I have nothing to hold on to anymore, I cant keep myself going. It's lonely out there. HE wants us to go back where we were. I refuse to. I will simply NOT go back, not even as a start. It has to be MUCH better to start with.
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You were not selfish. And he could give more. Again.. you have to really look at why he thought you were selfish.. and why he was not willing to give more. If someone teaches you how to do something.. they are usually gonna start with the "easy" way. Usually the "easy" way.. is long and tedious. But you have to have the basics in place. Once you do.. hopefully they show you the "fast" way.. or the more productive way. Most of us get stuck just using the "easy" way.. cause it is comfortable.. and "easy". We never want to be more "productive". Or no one ever shows us.. they just get mad we are doing it the "easy" way.
He already says I want a lot. He once said, "this is me, if you want more, you have a decision to make". To me that shows he still has issues with being right and stuborn. He refuses to look inside and change. He wants me to accept him probably because "I love him", like his mom did. I am not his mom. Told him that. In the past, that is how our separate lives started. He "pushed" me to live as much as I could with the kids, alone, "since he was not the type to go out, drive in traffic, liked theater, had games, work,ect etc" encouraged us and then we were too far appart. That's when the OW came in.
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I don't think you are missing his sacrifice.. it just does not mean the same things to both of you. You want X.. he does Y.. because he did not hit the mark.. it seems like he is doing something wrong.
HE didnt miss the mark, he missed a year, then another 4 months, a country, 4 seasons, he is no where close to the mark...
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Maybe. Or the new woman.. may just be woo'd by what he was giving.
Let him find one at 2 o clock in the morning. There is a street in Athens women are waiting for men at this time of the night. Maybe that is why he wants me. Thinks I am trained to live by very little, maybe the OW couldnt do it...
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Yes he should do more... But.. maybe in his mind he is doing "everything".
I know he thinks that. He told me. It's not enough for me, what do I do?
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Kalni can't see him trying... But.. he is giving it his all to no avail.
What is avail?
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Kalni has no time with him... But.. to give her more time he loses some of his "financial security".
I am willing to lose him and "my security" to maybe be happy someday. He should be willing to lose his security to be happy with me.
