"I don't believe the "maybe he wants to be there for you but can't" philosopy."
Why not? It takes a lot of thought and effort to walk away.. it has to. You simply don't wake up and go.. f this.. even though that is the way it seems to us LBS. It is a problem that has started and remained for a long time. This issue is still there.. it was never resolved.. never approached. People want things all the time.. and spin their wheels trying to figure out how to implement it. LBS are a prime example.. they generate a tremendous amount of "wrong" energy. Chasing, Crying, Begging. etc. While this seems the right thing to do.. we all now know it is counterproductive.. still that does not stop some of us from doing it for months.. or years.
"please name 10 things, little ones, that he has done and I have mentioned here over the last 3 months showing how much he loves and needs me?"
There are some.. is there 10.. maybe. That is not the point. The point is.. you can't see it.. maybe because you are looking for too much.. too soon.
"And then can you tell me if these 10 things should be enough to keep me going?"
You have too keep yourself going.. again.. his actions should compliment that.. or his words. But again.. you can't just jump back in where you two left off and expect it to work. We end up here if you do.
"My C couldnt do it today. I really need help before I walk. Because that is my plan now Fb2, not early signs, I am ready to pack and go... "
Where exactly are you going? Last I heard even if we "go" you still have 1 year before you are "free".
"For years I was made to believe I am selfish to want more since he couldn't give more."
You were not selfish. And he could give more. Again.. you have to really look at why he thought you were selfish.. and why he was not willing to give more. If someone teaches you how to do something.. they are usually gonna start with the "easy" way. Usually the "easy" way.. is long and tedious. But you have to have the basics in place. Once you do.. hopefully they show you the "fast" way.. or the more productive way. Most of us get stuck just using the "easy" way.. cause it is comfortable.. and "easy". We never want to be more "productive". Or no one ever shows us.. they just get mad we are doing it the "easy" way.
"Am I really so selfish and miss his sacrifice?"
I don't think you are missing his sacrifice.. it just does not mean the same things to both of you. You want X.. he does Y.. because he did not hit the mark.. it seems like he is doing something wrong.
"If you were some new woman he wanted to woo, you can bet he would figure out how to spend time with her, give her gifts she appreciates and touch her."
Maybe. Or the new woman.. may just be woo'd by what he was giving.
All this has to do with the perspective of the person you are looking at.
Yes he should do more... But.. maybe in his mind he is doing "everything".
Kalni can't see him trying... But.. he is giving it his all to no avail.
Kalni has no time with him... But.. to give her more time he loses some of his "financial security".
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
