Am I eternally hopeful or in denial....?

[Silent Chrleader]

Thanks, GG.

Yes, I'm definitely changing the PIN.

I just talked with H, and he thinks S17 is doing drugs! And the more I think about it, I think he may be right. Last night when I got home, S17 was in bed asleep, and when I tried to get him up to do a couple chores, he was almost incoherent. Talking in ways that didn't make sense. He has always done that when he wakes up out of a deep sleep, even since he was a little boy. But, this seemed a bit more pronounced than usual. So, he really has been showing all the symptoms. Unusual sleep patterns, Irritability, skipping school, stealing money......

H told me to "wake up". I feel like a fool, and I am so scared for my son! H sounded so distant, and cold. I told him that I hoped we could work on this together, and H said "I guess we'll have to!" I so wanted him to tell me that it would be alright! And I wanted to tell him I loved him. But, he just seemed in a rush (he has meetings all day) and he didn't have the time or the inclination to talk.

So now I'm sitting at my desk at work trying not to cry.

Right when I think I'm getting a handle on things, something else falls apart!! Where does it f'ing end???!!!!

I want my H! I want him to hold me and tell me it's all going to be OK!