This is interesting - she's suddenly emailing me every morning. Here's a note I got from her this morning in response to my email about how she interpreted my behavior:
Hi,
I disagree-- and think that this is probably one of the main reasons why I have moved out. You were angry and agressive and now you are trying to redefine and justify your behaviour. Regardless, it was inappropriate, especially with the goal in mind of being peaceful in front of Auden. A more appropriate way to act would be to email asking if everything is okay or if I'm okay.
Please remember you do not know what is going on in my life-- I had oral surgery on Monday afternoon and the pain is exhausting. It hurts to talk. This is why I think your plan of attack was presumptuous and aggressive.
Besides that, I really don't like to discuss things with you when picking up S2, as I've mentioned before, especially awkward conversations like how you think you and my parents should interact.
.................. So...she still puts everything on me and is happily projecting her anger onto me...that's fine, there's nothing new in that. I'm not going to respond to these kind of emails from her anymore...only the ones in which she asks me questions - and only to answer the questions. When I first read this note, my impulse was to respond, defend and explain myself - but that's useless - and it accomplishes nothing - so I'll just let her words be there - and move on with my life. She'll have this anger toward me regardless of what I do - as is evident in the fact that she doesn't tell me she's having oral surgery and then seems to blame me for not know...fascinating...and so very consistent with how things had been.
I was just reading through a bit of Gottman's Seven Principals - and, well, just her single email is filled with what he calls the four horseman that indicate a marriage doomed to fail...I'll have to pick up a copy of the book...I was just reading through it in a bookstore while waiting for my car to get repaired...
Anyway...onward and upward. She's firmly committed to her path of anger and just seems to want me to play into it again just because we are communicating again (to some extent) - and I'm just not interested in returning her volley. I'd rather let the ball pass, give her the point, the game and the match...and move onto another court with a player that enjoys the game more than drama of each questionable ball. Let her have her Pyrrhic victory...I prefer the calm life I am enjoying without her.
