First off, I feel for ya man...I too have a live-in MLC'er.
BUT.....I'm sorry, I can't let you off the hook on this, We collectivly, get to have a front row seat to this circus. And I can't let you have a free pass right now. Everything that you do is more important, more scrutinized, more anal-ized ( i mean it that way too ) than others who are living seperatly.
None of us here, have dealt with anything like this before, and hopefully, will never come witness to it again. The way that we have to carry ourselves is downright un-human at times, and we need to be the rock for us, her , and if you have children.
You will see and hear things that will make you want to pull most of your hair out most of the time.
I believe that female hormones do play a part in this. This seems to hit most women around the time of either menapause, or having their tubes tied, Post Partum depression. Whatever the reason....It is not for you to figure her out. This is her show, and you get to be a bystander in it.
It is also far more important to be positive and yet distant at the same time. You will see far more of the craziness than most others have seen. One of the things that has helped me was , first to understand and read all that you can about this. If you truly understand it for what it is, the better plan of action you can develop for yourself. Second. view this as an oppurtunity instead of a setback. Life is about perspective, and the better yours is.....the better you will get along. She gets to go on this self-finding mission......but so do you right now.
I, like many of us here, will NOT let you have a pass for not doing the things you need to do because she lives there with you. Detachment is the key. And the more things you do for you, the easier it is to detach. They kinda go hand-in-hand with each other.
Drop the rope, and watch the show go on...and before you ask? Yes, the more rope you give, the more they take...
Your expectations should be at zero right now. Positive AND negative ones. Don't expect anything from her, and to be honest? If YOU don't want it? The easier it is to live without the rejection.
ral.....this isn't easier....or harder than other situations....just different.
