Deadlines and ultimatums don't work at the begining of this for several reasons, the two that most come to my mind.
1) They aren't ready and it is pressure so Poof! Regardless of what is best they squirt away from it.
2) We aren't ready, and we don't follow through with the consequence.
There are probablly other reasons : )
Bworl and WCW are absolutely correct.
I think you are at a point where you did it for the right reason. But I caution you about your anger, and I am a firm believer in using your anger to help you, as fuel to stick to a course of action, as motivation, as long as you don't lash out at her with it verbally or God forbid physically. Control your anger it is just a tool, otherwise you are anger's tool.
Deadlines and ultimatums work in piecing, but you use them sparingly if not just once or twice. They are issued for the big ticket items, not what you want for dinner once a week.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
