Hey K.. Wow, well done for being so honest. It seems like its just inevitable? Its like you're been on this big process of realisation.. your H doesnt really give you much, not like an equal partner. He is wedded to his job(s), he has his priorities all wrong. Its not about career, ambition, money.. that stuff has its place, but not to the extreme position he places it, so that all other areas of his life suffer or are seemingly less important.
Perhaps if he had made the effort to finish on time and come over to the house..or take a Friday off now and then..? or better still, resign one of the damn stupid jobs! Or just make his presence felt in other ways (flowers, texts, letters, phonecalls) even if he cant be with you much at the moment. There is no room left for a life together, or even wake up together !!! 4 (5?) months after he said he wanted to reconcile, he still goes home to his bachelor apartment and hasnt really expressed any complaints/sadness about that.
What I am saying is.. I dont blame you for feeling so discouraged. Theres nothing worse than being lonely within a relationship, feeling stuck, condemned to a love that is limited.
I wonder what effect it would have on him if you said you wanted a break from him, from trying to reconcile, or even, if you said you wanted a D (not suggesting you say that!)? I wonder if he would 'wake up' and actually realise he is alive and step into reality..? That he has a beautiful wife and adorable kids that are growing older and getting used to him not being there, as he is too busy bolstering his professional status..and not focusing on dreams and just having some fun/romance and being happy?
You talked about stuff in your M that involved you bending to his demands/whims, making allowances, etc..remember when I looked at your chart before Christmas and saw that you had had Pluto going through your 7th house of 1:1 R's and M partners, for the past 12 years?...and then it moved out of Sagitarius and out of your 7th house for ever.. so, that Pluto "purging" of your 7th house issues is done, over. You've learnt your hard Pluto lessons, that phase of your 'evolving' is done now. I just thought that was interesting. Pluto is about growth through pain, transformation on a deep psychological level, death and rebirth, the symbolism of a Pluto transit, is the phoenix rising from the ashes.
So...will this be a new M being reborn on the ashes of the old, or your desire and ability to 'relate' to others, as signified by the 7th house, being reborn anew??? We will see!
(sorry to get all nerdy here, but I can never resist a bit of "astrology in action" !) Al xxxxx
