I had a similar sitch to yours and I went dark after 2 months of H moving out and in with OW. I did it for me to heal. H left in Aug 08 with "I can't say what was wron with our marriage but I've fallen in love with some one else and so fallen out of love with you". He wanted to stay int he flat but I asked him to leave straight away. First few weeks was the usual crying, reasoning etc when we met and it was the same line.
Then I began DBing and I stop fighing him about leaving. We met for lunch a few times to discuss finances etc. He told me he was happy and it was the only decision he could have made. I then went dark - only contact via e-mail regarding financial stuff. He kept mailing/texting regarding irrelevant stuff but I just kept it to business. After 2 months of no contact he got in touch and wanted to meet. Again he had a reason to meet and he still wanted divorce. However on this meeting he did not seem "happy". I was distant and with advice from fellow Dbers and my DB coach I then sent him a friendly e-mail. This was in Nov 08.
Since we have been friendly and met up once in Dec as well but he is certain he still wants divorce and yet his mail still comes here and he refuses to give me the keys to the flat. He is still hanging on.
I am writing this brief re-cap of my sitch as I don't really have a thread. I would say go dark if it helps you to heal. I have finally detached in the last few weeks. It takes a different amount of time for different people. If you are going dim then make sure you do not contact him no matter what. Let him contact you and then take your time to decide if it needs a response and what type of response. You will find it really difficult the first 1-2 weeks and then it gets better. It also allows you to take the control back.
I have to go but I will check on you later and let me know if you have any questions.
